Sunday, May 3, 2009

I'm Toast (and other news)

I'm Toast (and other news)

Back in, ooh, '08 about this time of year our toaster died. This is serious stuff. I train lots and I seldom hit the water, street or trail without bagels/waffles/b'fast pita/toast or some combination. With almond butter. The key to this operation is a first rate toaster, but what does that mean? Gimmicks, fancy name, lots of buttons, do I care at 0530? F no. So last year I went retro with this beauty: the Lancaster toaster. White like the fresh fallen snow. You don't read the manual. You plug the sucker in and set the dial, usually just flat out. Pop, done gone. That's it. I see they are up to $9.49 CDN now, when I got mine they were less than $9. Eat my crumbs Cuisinart.

Time however, is hard on all of us. Take today, 30 min JRA1 on the bike and then 2:15 hill run, including one of the few tasty hills we have near town, the affectionately named "Snake Hill". I'm home now and know if I drop something on the ground I'll have to go through the usual "prayer drop" to my knees to pick it up, then slide over to the nearest piece of furniture and use my arms to get up. The smart asses among you have already said to themselves some comment about "you are what you eat".

But here's the thing, the Lancaster is dying on me, and it took a real slap to the face, or like Dre would say "like a slug to your chest" Friday morning to get me out of denial. I was late to the pool cause the toaster though still working, now has an unacceptable MTTB (mean time to bagel). I suspected this after returning from FLA and having a hard time getting out at the proper time for Thursday's savage run with University Prof. Ann Onymous (henceforth in this screeds UPAO). The original plan was so what, at $10 a whack that's 7 to 10 Lancaster's for one pretty boy toaster.

Friday I knuckled. I drove by a CDN Tire and found myself checking out all the hot young, sleek toasters from exotic places in China the Lancaster never even passed through in transit. Check out my trophy toaster, the T-fal Avanté Angle Design Deluxe Toaster. Angle designed so you can watch the bread toast. No wonder the Commies gave up and made Russia a democracy, when we have stuff like this. Toast a bagel and anything within 1 m in less time than it takes to get out the cottage cheese (of course you need your protein, little cups of 1% cottage cheese my, protein bombs). And yeah, as an emerging DOM2 how could I resist that pair of huge handles. No sticking knives down this puppy and giving my Mom fits ("people get electrocuted like that every day"), left one pops her down, right one gives you some extra lift if you need it, kinda the Wonder Bra of toasters. Big dial and off course a bagel mode, toasted on the inside, warm on the outside, just like most of my students!

My life is truly blessed but there is much too be reported to keep UPAO and my little Sunset in the loop of life. The latter has life stuff going on and the former is in the wilds of Quebec at "Geology Field Camp", where I'm sure she is making maps and living on the cheap beer that Quebec offers. Doubtless all the Queens kids came with an empty suitcase to stuff in at least a 2-4 to bring home. So in the coming days we must keep them appraised of import stuff, like I am doing today. For instance, 'bout 1 hour into my run coming into the subdivision in Byron, with all the good people of London cleaning their cars and doing whatever it is they do to their lawns, singing For You way too loud for a guy in knee length shorts, compression socks and lime colored sunglasses.

Tomorrow: report from the first go at the Tanita scale and "the sh*t that will kill them" for Triple T, which I now possess.


  1. Just riding around
  2. dirty old man, right Dave?


  1. This toaster is a really good one. The funny thing is when we brought it home and checked that it worked, I realized that, at 51, a nice toaster delivers the same thrill as as a new TV or new car.