I Will Survive

I Will Survive

Prologue: W/Th/Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon, well I though the headaches every day were just allergy season. And the cold weather. And being past half way to 100. The Usual.

Chapter 1: Tuesday

1 am: I'm going to hurl. 3 am up again: almost hurled. The 6 o'clock alarm rang and I wasn't singing nothin'. Had usual pre-train bfast, well half of it anyway. Crawled to coach, woke up again at 9 and did not feel like eating. Film loop from Wayne's World playing in my head as I put on the running shoes:

Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl? 

Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be. 

Obviously Wayne meant run and if you're meant to feel better you will. So I did. The short story is don't believe in all this mystical karma BS and don't try to train if you are not able. Or else the following happens.

I went out with the ideal of doing some interval work, 4 sets of 6 min, and was doing "OK" other than the fact I was running 12 min miles at best. The breakdown came about 1/2 way in (as you know if you train lots, the underlying theme of any disaster workout is everything begins to go to sh*t at the farthest point from where you started, so there is no turning back), at what I believe AO is the same corner I face planted in the dark on the ice during the snowstorm a few months back, I did it again. Cept I didn't have gloves on, there was not plenty of snow and I didn't get to make a snow angel and quip "I meant to do that." This time I did it on pavement and it was less pleasant. Don't worry, I bounced up and finished the piece (and none of the people in their cars rolled down a window for a "u 'k?"). I was getting bad. Made it around the turn onto Wonderland, on the blind turn on the downhill part (uphill for me) this kid came full bore on a MTB and I dropped into my lineman stance with my forearm up. He just grazed me and at this point I was getting delirious and headed into the woods, hoping the recently spotted in town wolf was not chillin' there. Got down to the river and Cake saved my ass, calling from my Thump earbuds:

(Gentle reader: Click the link, get Cake singin' and we can all join him as I type)

Did you think I'd crumble

Did you think I'd lay down and die

Oh no, not I

I will survive

As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive

I've got all my life to live

I've got all my love to give

I will survive

I will survive 

The irony here was no lost, even on me. My corporal self somehow found home and in 15 min I was headed into work for a meeting, after which I rode home and punched out of life for the day.

Chapter 2: Wed

I watched TV. Oh boy what fun. Some random crap then things got serious with the classic The Trouble with Tribbles. Hadn't seen that in a long time, what an episode. Love that look on Jim's face when he opens the grain storage unit. 

This was followed by Chuck Norris, Missing in Action. Body count on a par with Arnold in Commando, but I miss the pithy comments, Chuck is all business, no:

Soldier: Anything left for us?

Arnold: Just bodies.

Ha ha! Oh right Pat, Arnold does row into shore in his speedo (wouldn't want to get my fatigues all wet would I?). But how many times have you been in a long boring meeting and wish someone would solve everything by going out into the jungle solo, rescuing MIAs and bringing them back to prove the VK wrong, all before the meeting ends? Round to Chuck.

This was followed by Escape from Alcatraz, which was a movie about a prison break and not a televised triathlon event. People were not as tough in the 60s as today, when floating 1 mile clinging to a raft after tunneling out in the dark was considered tougher than swimming into shore, then biking and running. And these guys used to avoid trying to go to Alcatrz, now people fill up the race in minutes when entries open.

Wanted to watch the 7th game of the Pens-Caps series but unfortunately Washington had other plans last night that didn't involved playing hockey. That was harsh, but they folded like a tent.

Chapter 3: Thursday

I'm doing much better today thank you and have been able to plow through great expanses of the fertile fields of my inbox where work stuff grows and grows. Must be feeling better because it is into mid-afternoon and I haven't turned the TV on yet. Why when we can all sing together:

It took all the strength I had

Just not to fall apart

I'm trying hard to mend the pieces

Of my broken heart

And I spent oh so many nights

Just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry

But now I hold my head up high

Epilogue

Did I get swine flu from Wilbur. Interesting theory, but I don't think so. I did not crave bacon or covet Miss. Piggy more than normal. I think it was food poisening, I ate some frozen fruit that had unfrozen? Possibly flu? So I looked up all these separately and it is interesting, the symptoms for all different things of this nature as all about 97% overlapping. So I'll claim all of them.

I did survive,

boB