Monday, April 27, 2009

Camp Sheri - Epilogue

Camp Sheri - Epilogue

Now get this
London calling, yeah, I was there, too
An' you know what they said? Well, some of it was true!
London calling at the top of the dial
After all this, won't you give me a smile?

Yeah, Joe Strummer was a runner and would have dug Camp Sheri, too bad he's gone. And we will all be outta the Park soon, me tomorrow. Last swim at the NTC today (hey Pat Y. you had some good 100's today thanks for the pass! :-). A recovery ride with CK, Dave and Louise, so it was the 2nd hardest ride of camp except for the aforementioned recovery ride with Sibo earlier! Louise had a great song going about one of the road names. Dave did a massive pull into the wind. CK guided us over quite a few new roads. CK and I will take a final (for me this trip) tour de Grove tomorrow and then I git out of town. And the Team Sheri jackets are in, modeled here by Derek Zoolander.

One loose end though, these Ontario city people think my former roomie St Bill of Perpetual Coffee is a redneck. Ha! I'm a redneck compared to Bill. Heck, consider this.

10 Reasons Bill Isn't a Redneck

10. He wears a helmet.
9. He zips his fly.
8. He does yoga. With girls.
7. He never calls Janice "Hunay" or "Sugha"
6. He washes his socks.
5. He didn't stock up at Walmart for the ride home.
4. He uses sunscreen.
3. He washes dishes and don't eat out of the package.
2. He eats salad.
1. He came down here un-armed. Not even Bear Mace!


ps Ann Onymous

Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen
Und Damast-Paspeln
Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
Ich bin Eier aller Arten

Sofa 2
Frank Zappa

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 10

Camp Sheri - Day 10

This morning's long run marked the end of Camp. Colm and I greeted the dawn and it was grove-y. Then bittersweet as one by one the Campers headed home ("Gee Mom I want to go, back to Ontario"). A slow day, with the sun and heat making getting into the pool for an afternoon swim a major effort, but the clock was punched and the deed done. When I got to the pool it was crowded with kids, and I managed to get a foot or two by the wall to swim laps. About 1/2 through my swim Louise joined me and it was strange, every time I would return to the wall about 1/2 way down the 3 little girls playing at the end of the pool would streak past me, but never be in my way when I turned. This was because Louise had the kids organized and she would go "Here comes Bob" and they would sprint across the shallow end! Then she would leave as I was turing and race me, and at the end the little boy who was with them said "Bob winned"!

Back to the Situation Room in the late afternoon I was greeted with the end of one of my favorite escapes on the tube:

ND: I like your sleeves. They're real big.
Deb: Thank you. I made them myself.

Yup, and I watched and I'll tell you everytime I watch the end of Napleon Dynamite I get seriously choked to tears in the part were everyone's dreams come true at the end, a twisted Zion fairy tale. We saw a lot of magic this week and we are a much more confident, prepared bunch than we were 10 days ago. Everyone contributed something and everyone got something back. And I hope everyone's dreams for this season come true.

A safe journey back to all your travelers who left today. And from all of us to the Coaches thanks again for making it all happen.

Vote for Pedro,

Camp Sheri - Day 9

Camp Sheri - Day 9

Reader Mail

Gentle Readers thanks so much for you feedback.


"That thought crossed my mind too"

I have pondered these thoughts deeply during the quiet times of our 4 hours in the hills yesterday and thank those anonymous readers who took time from their days to question my sanity. With each trip up Sugarloaf I got more lost in the question. I appreciate you concern. Scanning around the Situation Room last night after a LONG day I can assure you all is good. Good probably as it could be considering the explaining I may have to do depending on how I ease out of town Tuesday. Bill is gone and will probably be able to get across the border before the coming storm arrives. I am concerned there could be issue over improvements we have made to the suite. It was too hard for the doorman to check id's and getting in/out was an issue that NECESSITATED the removal of the front wall and the other perhiperal damage should have been expected. It doesn't rain and is beautiful here: future guest will appreciate how you can now see the stars from my bedroom overhead at night. And the wet bar space was insufficient for any serious activity, and when people are coming from Orlando just trying to get their name on the guest list we can't be second rate here, can we?

And what about coming back? I have applied at the Leesburg Morning Despatch for a job as a jai alai / shuffleboard/ badmiton reporter and fully expect to get the job. My phone interview went perfectly and they where impresed of my knowledge of cues/pucks and the proper weight to cross the deck and lie square in the triangle for 10. I will be well known in town, wear all white and talk about my days at Columbia University all the while enjoying the treatment of a Colonel. Madness, I think not. Deck life is not like the gray world of toil and perspective you have learned in Southern Ontario. Here it is Man, Gator, and Cue. On Fridays I will bowl in Clermont, Sundays run along Lake Minneola and fan myself in the July heat. There is a BJ's almost finished and soon bourbon will be $5 a bottle and Cliff Bars are 99 cents. My bike, Russian decals covered over with American flag stickers, will fit nicely in the back of my BMW. Weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

Other News

Friday saw 10 vultures snacking on a freshly-killed armadillo. Yesterday a big snake was moving across the road. Today I saw a rabbit. And an Egret and a cow. Who said we are ruining the planet, there are plenty of things left for the zoos!

Last yoga :-(. Goodbye bbq last night. Final weigh-in. Can't wait to compare numbers AFTER THE MULTIPLICATION. We'll see who is visceral and who isn't. Change. Yuk. Today and tomorrow will be the last few orbits before setting up for re-entry. Yeah, good, little wir fahr'n fahr'n fahr'n auf der autobahn coming from the sound system we had installed by Best Buy last week. Will have to leave a note about that as well. This German retro-techno is moving the wells back and forth like a boxer engine winding out. I think I will go be social and see the last few stragglers, it will be pretty dead here with almost everyone gone. And I will have tonight's post on schedule as professionals, even in Leesburg, Florida, USA do not f*&k with deadlines.

fahr'n fahrn' fahrn' auf der autobahn,
Heir Docktor Bob

Friday, April 24, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 8

Camp Sheri - Day 8

Sure go ahead and sue me. You've ruined my daughter's mind already and how many others in our great land?
Love you,
Bob from Canada

NTC dawn: 50 in 20 min (+6 sec)

Morning run in orange grove was True Religion, Allelu...

Peace be with you
Natural Beauty
One hand clapping
Joseph Smith

Jesus loves you
Dali Lama
Go to Provo or go to Hell
Soldier of Christ
Peace on Earth
Is the Gateway to the West not also the Gateway to the East?

Sunrise Sunset gently go the years
Go with Christ
I and I
Purity of Essence
Atomic Bomb
Forgive them father
Heaven on Earth
And it feels like heaven's so far away
Heavens to Betsy
A Jedi's strength flows from the Force
Bob Marley
Religion is a smile on a dog
Brotherly love, the sisterly love
Secular Humanism

PM Dead leg short hot but fun run in sprint with Sibo bike ride.

Coach Barbi threw water in my face how could someone perceive me as a smartass?

Met the TO boys who saw a 12 ft gator run out on the road in front of them.

Remarried had 5 kids went to Europe found myself then forgot where I put it damn where are my readers?

Yoga/core was challenging but fun, Dave has our plank up to 3 min

Tomorrow: a hammering ride planned, lots of hills!


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 7

Camp Sheri - Day 7

But your new shoes are worn at the heels and
Your suntan does rapidly peel and
Your wise men dont know how it feels to be thick as a brick.

Really don't mind if you sit this one out, I don't blame you. The Camp Sheri "hurry, hurry, hard" day has come and gone. We rode out to Lake Louisa for a brick workout.

[A brick workout is said to be named after Matthew Brick, a world champion duathlete in the late 80's from New Zealand. His training method stressed sessions of intense rides followed immediately by intense runs mimicking the demands of racing]

The Master gave us a talk about transition tricks, always useful, and off we went for 1 short brick, followed by a longer one that had a tour of the park, and a final short one where we were give the technical instructions to go "balls to the wall". Master does not sweat the 20 level Borg exertion level scale. It was real hot, in the low 30s (90F for you Yanks) and we rode and ran like stink. It is so cool to see the improvement in many of the athletes from last year and even from the beginning of camp, glad none of them are in my age group.

After the hard work was done I forced myself into the old wetsuit and did an hour swim. The rest of the crowd was riding or doing open water drills. For some reason the first swim in a wetsuit always seems fast and easy. And I decided dolphin. We were talking the other day about what animal you would be and I think I would be a dolphin and enjoy relatively the same intelligence and the ability to swim fast.

Then one of the Camp high points from last year, Louise leads us in yoga on the beach under the big trees, just so serene and peaceful. We geared up and rode back and as a group we committed the ultimate faux pas: we cause a car to have to slow up to go to a red light. What nerve we had. The driver had a hissy at us but after you ride enough years you learn to become a mirror and reflect their negativity back at them rather than engage them. And not to even mention that they were not a real blonde. Canadian road diplomacy.

We came back to the Park and at night the poor souls had to listen to me yak about cycling aerodynamics. Hopefully people we take some points away that will help their racing. Yawn, late, gtg as tomorrow morning at 630 is hammer time at the pool!


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 6

Camp Sheri - Day 6

Morning Maniac Music/Wordsworth/Feel the Burn/DOM and DOMer is BS/I stole the scoop

You have seen the heavy groups
now you will see morning maniac music, believe me.
It's a new dawn!

Good morning people! Venus in conjunction with Moon, deep blue sky, CK, Bill and I leave for the Orange Grove. On the bright reddish orange roads that remind me of Mars the Sun slowly creeps up as we ease around the 16 km loop. Wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else right then.

Back with a short time (always a short time between everything at Camp!) to make it to an extra special yoga class, where Louise took us through a beautiful and relaxing visualization using Wordsworth's I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud. The Wordsworth on the right is from a children's book about a mouse in Hawaii who writes poetry. Sounds good to me. This was followed by the usual (hard)core work and some yoga.

Some food and work (yup) then to the pool for a relaxing long swim, did 4700 and think I am getting some of the stroke lessons into the "unconscious". To the unswimmer reading this swimming is very technical and most people's brain can only handle 1 or 2 corrections at a time. You have to beat them into you until they become natural. I got an excellent burn (as in sun, not "feel da pump man") during this session, and next time I swim in the middle of the day I will wear sunscreen!

We had our Camp bonding games, and to avoid killing each other we didn't divide up boys and girls but by random draw which worked well as the 2 teams were well matched. Dave captained the crowd favorite DOM and DOMers ("dirty old men") and the black hats were worn by that scurvy dogs of the BrainStormers (BS for short). As usual in today's society BS won over in the end. Thanks Janice, that was fun.

Day ended with a mid-camp weight in (I'm heading south in that, moin moin!). My final faux pas of the evening was at the BBQ, where I got confused and took a scoop of ice cream right off Janice's plate. Whoop-sie! She was a good sport about it and in another hour or so my voice range will be down another octave to normal.

Well it's late and this off day was one of Camp's busiest! Tomorrow's brick wo awaits.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 5

Camp Sheri - Day 5

3-2-1-go/Flee to Fleet/Tortoise and the Pace Line/Alli-gummie/Heaven on Earth and Hammer Time/Coach Barbi Challenge/I'm not hip

Venus and the Moon all lite up with Earthshine and Jupiter in a nice line in the clear sky walking down to meet for a NTC Swim with Coach Len. Awesome having someone on deck so positive and pumped. Made us all forget about the hard work. Had a fine swim and descended my intervals properly. Ann Onymous: stoke count 18 even at hammer time!

Quick break for some kcals and on the bike out to the Van Fleet trail, which normally wouldn't be a bad ride but the wind has been strong the whole time down here. 'Bout an hour and change out and then a long flat rail trail with Wood Tortoises everywhere. Master Sheri had us do a pace line which was new (o
r at least not common) for some of the riders and it was going great until one big fellow (these guys are about 25 cm (10") across) was on the path as we can along. Now wouldn't you have figured he would have "turtled" when we came by? Not so, this guy sprinted and they can move pretty darn fast. Angie banged my back wheel hard and I thought she was a goner but she rode it out and everyone was safe. Whew.

Farther down we saw a gator the water off a little bridge and to be unnamed Londoner insisted that we could throw a gummie at it and he would eat it, poor gator, tourist season must drive him nuts. Then Louise, Claire and I pushed it a bit up the trail. Ann Onymous: Claire can be another role model, another talented Masters rider. We returned to the beginning of the trail and broke into 2 groups. I heeded CK's wisdom to go with the fast group. The man has vision.

If there is a heaven and hell I'll pick heaven. Why not? And in heaven it will always be sunny and I'll ride my bike every day into the wind with 6 beautiful woman doing all the work up front. Just like today, and except for the few odd times I slowed the line down in front it was ...

What I mean Pat is I misjudged and was in the wrong group and well I had to be polite and who would have carried Angie's extra bottle and Colm has a viscous sense of right and wrong and is a Camp Counselor so I had to listen to him.

With Louise in the mix I knew after the last hill the roll in to the Park would be fast and she didn't disappoint. As penance from yesterday I vowed to try to set up a fast finish for her and over the little rise at about 2 km out I hammered to the front and tried my best. Soon the young girls roared by with the Master on 3rd wheel with a big grin and that look that says race season has begun and have have 2 girls who can ride hard. Hopefully they start a Team Sheri road team!

Coach Barbi put a challenge out to swim at least a "k a day" in the VV pool to practice our stroke corrections. Great to see so many campers out, and I got in 1500 m and a final tip I need on my right arm entry has well. Then an hour of Louise's yoga and pilates to end the day. And I need some kind of serious mat next time. The gals must have their hip bones in deeper than I, because we get on our sides and it is like getting a hip pointer over and over. Plus since tomorrow is Earth Day there is (really?) a pilates tradition that you do "100's" which is like this: 100s how-to. Except we have to keep or legs straight a few inches off the group, not bent.

We are also up to 90s for low plank, but just found out Dave has done over 7 min! Don't think that is going happen for me.

OK, off day tomorrow, Camp games (they promise they have something to embarrass each one of us and I believe them). Since it is an off day Colm, Bill and I are going to sneak off to the Orange grove for a 630am loop, there is a 90 min morning yoga session and of course a swim. Got just under 33 hours of training in my first seven days here, a healthy week.

Counting stars by candlelight, all are dim but one is bright;
The spiral light of Venus, rising first and shining best,
On, from the northwest corner, of a brand new crescent moon,
While crickets and cicadas sing, a rare and different tune,
Terrapin station.

Camp Sheri - Day 4

Camp Sheri - Day 4

Trying to Stay on the Crazy Train/No loafing/Running Amuck/Swimming in Rain (Just swimming in the rain)/Run the Voodoo down

I was 21±1 years old sitting I think in Radio City Music Hall or some similar venue in NYC to witness "cool". I had though to have achieved some measure of this, but I got schooled good. The backup band went out and starting playing. Hard. They looked a bit nervous but set down some real bad lines. Then he came out. In a cape. With a walking stick. Feathered hat. He walked out to centre stage and folded the stick and immediately someone came out and took the stick and cape and hat. He just smiled at us and turned to the poor bastards behind him half his age just giving 'er. He walked over to the drummer and kept gesturing that he go harder. After several minutes of this he walked to centre stage and snapped his fingers. Out came the instrument on a big plush purple pillow. He took it, glared at the audience and turned his back to us waved his hand and the band instantly stopped. He blew one note and damn near blew me away. Played it and stopped for a pregnant pause and just let it echo round the entire theatre before blowing another. Miles Davis was the real sh*t.

Riding back from the bakery today was a similar experience. Beautiful ride over the frontside of Sugarloaf, and just as we crested it rain, rain, rain, even a bit of hail but still warm so like riding through Brittany in Stage 4 of the Tour wow. As we hit the last hills from the NTC into the Trailer Park they struck. First Louise, then Dave. If you don't know these people I hope you get the opportunity, they are 2 of the best Masters athletes in the world. Neither are kids any more, Louise is the World Champion at both the 70.3 and Ironman distances in W65-69 and Dave just won the 70-74 AG at Ironman Arizona. They hit it and wow, it was just like that note Miles played, cool, hard and long. By the time we rolled into the last road into the Park it was sick. They were attacking each other and this 52 year old kid behind them was in the throws of death trying to hold wheel. At about 500 m out I did the most sleazy thing you can do after sitting in that long, I tried to attack and surprised Louise but Dave popped open his can of whup ass and beat me like a drum. Wow, nice to know they're still time to get better.

Great ride and before that 1:30 of running in the morning out to Chez Fraser which opened up the legs nicely for the Loaf,
shown here with people that look kinda like us struggling up. It's not a bad climb but like Alpe D'Huez it is real steep in the beginning and if you don't dance on the pedals until it moderates half way you can't coax a rhythm out of yours legs and it is couple minutes of body payback after. We all went up in fine form and Sibo's magic on my drivetrain made it fun, fun, fun. Quick back into town as described above, got to the pool for 1500m and over to Yoga.

Tonight we had a stretching seminar, which more civil than the previous night where we talked poop. I don't mean this rappa/gangsta/badass we wuz talking sh*t no Gentle Reader (boy I always had such a crush on Miss Manners) when we trigeeks talk race nutrition for distance racing it always comes down to will it make me poop, did you poop when you used it, can I get through 12 hours without pooping, did the poops ruin your race. If you live the dirty tri life you are now laughing cause you know we talk that stuff more than bikes and if not forget it.

Other than that the great excitement included:
  • CK having 2 coffees at the Bakery and walking around with pie plates for eyes and dancing up Sugarloaf like it was flat. Also singing in a lilting Irish tenor in the driving rain a Johnny Cash song "something? Green", I must download it.
  • car cutting our merry band off right as a cop was driving by who I managed to signal and he chased her down and hopefully had a book with him to throw at her
  • giant thunderclap just as one of the gals was about to take a nature break behind the Church. Ha ha!
  • watching a live filming of an episode of Graham and Sheri, a new sitcom on Fox about a brother and sister who want to rule the world
  • getting ridiculed by a bunch of adults in tight pants, helmets and shoe that click/click like my Mommies use to because of the height of my socks (I guess because it would be more likely I would poop on them)?

The truth is in the details, first
And the writing on the wall
And the closer I get to feeling strong
The less can go wrong

Hayden (and if you're not Canadian reading this go download some. But not the skating song, that is intense.)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 3

Camp Sheri - Day 3

My Personal Ornithology

On my back in the early morning
Eyes to the sky heels to the Earth
Pavement cool, in savasana
Waiting to start
In my kit, bike at hand,
Gaggle of readying riders
A conversation I was privy
Left ear song sweet singing tree birds
Right early cackling grackle
Alternating riffs, were they talking?
Does the song bird sound like flowery Italian
Is the grackle speaking German
How do they sound to each other?
Do they hear each other?
Do they listen or tuned in only to others of the same?

We whisk off with so much around us unknown.
To Sugarloaf, to sugarloaf, to climb like a fat hog.
Oh me, oh pain, there is a spreading link in my chain
Clicking, sticking, whenever I torque on the pedals skipping cogs
For over 3 hours on Dewey Robbins
Past the McCain/Palin sign a chill down my spine
The new road so smooth and 3 times I ride past where
The world turned upside down for Ann
And each time CK smiles bigger
We know when my chain is going to pull the trigger
And dump me ass over tea kettle right there

But so gentle I pedaled (what's that Jimi on the stereo now:
"so straight ahead.....")
Sorry Jimi, were my Axles Bold As Love?
Thanks to Sibo it held and got me by the stray gators
Hanging out on the golf course by Chez Fraser

NTC Swim

Back from ride and the amazing Sibo "Johnny on the Spot" had a link and I think we got this crap sorted out (save for a pooched bearing in my new bottom bracket, annoying but deal with it we must). Gave me a few scant minutes to pool and head over to the NTC for an afternoon, outside, sunshine, long course swim. Gentle readers from warmer latitiudes will not comprehend the joy this brings after 6 months of 6amDarkColdNoCaffeineFeedMeSlowDownYouBeastsIcan'tKeepUpAndIamNeverGoingToBeWarmWhatDrillsNoIamTiredDidTheyChangeTheWorkoutIamWayBehindAgainIamKicking swims.
The Miracle Workers e.g. Coaches Barbi and Len have made a few key adjustments to my stroke and am on it trying to adapt. Got 3200 in.

Saint Bill of Belmont

Got back with a little time until happy happy yoga pilaties time and Bill had made dinner, including extra for the hungry little pool piggy. What a guy eh? All that and a coffee addict who was down with watching Episodes 4, 5 and 6 last night. Reminds me of my first meeting with Master Sheri:
MASTER SHERI: Ready, are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained! A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind.
(to the invisible Ben, indicating Luke) This one a long time
have I watched. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was
doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things.
(turning to BOB) You are reckless!

BOB looks down. He knows it is true.

BEN'S VOICE: So was I, if you'll remember.

MASTER SHERI: He is too old. Yes, too old to begin the training.

BOB thinks he detects a subtle softening in Yoda's voice.

BOB: But I've learned so much.

MASTER SHERI turns her piercing gaze on BOB, as though the Jedi
Master's huge eyes could somehow determine how much the boy
had learned. After a long moment, the she turns toward
where she alone sees Ben.

MASTER SHERI: (sighs) Will he finished what he begins?

BOB: I won't fail you -- I'm not afraid.

MASTER SHERI: (turns slowly toward him) Oh, you will be. You will be.

OK, out to Howie on the Pills tomorrow for a run, back home through the front side of Sugarloaf

{{{{(What iPod? What Fugees?
My posse in the Brooklyn wear the mask.
My crew in the Jersey wear the mask.
Stick up kids doing boogie woogie wear the mask.
Yeah everybody wear da mask but how long will it last.}}}}}}

so I'll work on my track stand, have my smile mask on and hopefully I can sneak in a swim in the VV pool. And oh yeah it might rain tomorrow, hope so, we'll see who really wants to ride :-)
boB (Bob backwards, whoa that is so like freaky!)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 2

Camp Sheri - Day 2

Its late I'm just done dinner its Camp Sheri, right? 8 o'clock run, 3rd in 3 days, just easy over to the Orange Grove for video taping. Everyone else drove over. What's with that? Sigh. Then back to the pool for video/stroke work with Len and Barbi, that was awesome. They took pity on me and realized after getting Ann even faster I needed major help. Will have to test it out at the NTSC pool stat, if I can get their tomorrow. Feels much better for sure.

Back for some food then another plunge at Sugarload/Buckhill etc. Moin moin, though it took a couple hours get really loose. Back and Barbi and I get a short swim in before yoga followed by a talk from a sports psychologist. Talk about preaching to the choir, the nut doctor talks to the loons. BTW there are 4 loons in this little lake as you ride out of town, how Canadian.

Ride to Chez Fraser tomorrow morning and ready to hear some tall tails from Graham about leaving Boulder in 30 ft of snow today if he indeed made it (usual Rocky Mountain spring storm, Pat and I know all about that!). Oh year Calvin Klein (not his real name, duh?) seemed to have a memory lapse on the birthday husband is not supposed to lapse on, ah ohh!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Camp Sheri - Day 1

Camp Sheri - Day 1

Run/Yoga/Ride/Swim/BBQ whatta day, plus
Dustin Hoffman gets sheared!

Orange Grove Loop

Early morning we went out to the Orange Grove for a delightful 16 km loop on the dirt roads. Lots of hills and with the recent rains very firmly packed. Your boy went Hans Solo grooving to his Thumps and working the hills hard with TTT on the horizon. Best moment was coming 'round the end to one of my Pumpkin faves Rocket

I shall be free free

Free of those voices inside me

I shall be free

I shall be free

(love the guitar riff after this)

Then back for yoga and pilates with Louise (always a camp high point) and saw this little lizard run up to the door and blow up his balloon throat and it is bright red: funny.


Time for some food that out to Lake Louisa State Park. Fun place to ride, we did a couple hours on loops. I have dead, dead legs and with high winds and some baby hills was in a bit of bother after yesterday's "recovery" ride. Was pumped for an open water swim but there is a "Lake Wind Advisory" and the waves were significant. I couldn't find another taker to go in but....

VV Pool Swim

Everyone's rationalization was we'll go back to VV and swim. Last year the pool here hovered around +3 deg C and was brutal, but they heated it and though a SC pool is at least outside. I had the pool to myself and Ann will know that I did a CAT-WO (Canonial Ann and Tony WorkOut)
1k wu, 100 k/200 s/300 pp/400 as 4x100 on 10s RI then back down and a 200 wd.

OK, gtg as the Camp BBQ is in a few minutes. And no internet all day, who knows when this will get pushed to the great cloud?


A bunch of people not named Bob worked very hard to make us a terrific meal. But before dinner I had to have my date with the hellish hi-tech scale they have smuggled across the border here for the "Biggest Loser" Body Fat Contest. That's me on the left saying these numbers can't be right. OK Ann you insisted on the numbers I'll share mine in public 154/10.2%/58.4/1314/8/1773 cal/day/14 years old/6.8 lb/6lb. Got that Ann, 8 of 9 you gonna post your "Physique rating" in the comments? And that's before camp. Bet it's 2-3 by the end. :-) But dessert was best. Dave got his way cool shears (with a headlight!) and made Colm even more beautiful and a now throughly dead-ringer for Dustin Hoffman. Here's the before and after:

He is going to be so aero and cool now he won't have anyone to train with here! His metabolic age on the scale dropped to 10 years old. Plus we won't have to wait forever to leave the NTC!

Awesome end to an awesome day. Thanks to Barbi for the pictures. Poor Barbi is tasked with trying to improve my stroke mechanics tomorrow, she has her work cut out for her.

ps: Just read the joke at TriRudy, how apropos (thanks to Joan Hollywood):

skip to next Back to top

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father
if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal
with his son.

"You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a
little, get your hair cut, and we'll talk about the car".

The boy thought about that for a moment and decided he would settle for the
offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You
brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying the
Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut".

The young man paused a moment and then said, "You know, Dad, I've noticed
in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had
long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's a strong argument that Jesus had
long hair."

To this the father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked
everywhere they went?"

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Camp Sheri Day minus 1

Camp Sheri Day minus 1

Morning Dew

Headed out to the pool at 0-dawnish this morn for a spirited swim in the old chlorine bath. The Master had managed to co-op a big pile of Clermont freebie calendars that had a coupon for a free week at the NTC so here I am half asleep and trying to remember I live on some street in a town called Howie in the Hills. or is it Howie-in-the-hills. Or Howey? I'm screwed, I'm a terrible liar. I confess, charge me double the rate, I'm so sorry. Decide I will register as Art Vandelay but back off and use my real name. The pool was actually too warm, maybe from me swimming too much in the near frozen UWO Rec Centre pool. Readers attempting to post comments implying insulation is the reason (the Beluga effect) will be censored. 3800 US meters.

Returning to Value Village (aka Vacation Village henceforth VV or "the (trailer) Park") had to extinguish several brush fires in my day job, grabbed not enough food and wailed out on the bike with Sibo and Colm (who still has his hair, but maybe not tomorrow, let's get some more votes on this people). Got to the back gates of VV when the sh*#t went down quick.

Eagle 1, Osprey 0

(his Sibo-ness and I look up and see an Eagle steal a fish out of the tallons of an Osprey on Lake Louisa)
Hey Kornheiser, your boy the Osprey got OWNED by the Eagle. He is going to starve. In NJ these birds are so stupid they have to build platforms for them on the telephone poles so they can figure out where to nest. What they going to this season?

Wilbon, what is it with you and the Eagles. You used to be a Cubs and Bears man, now you pulling for Philly? That wasn't a fish it was a piece of wood, not a CheeseSteak you BroadStreetBully.

Sibo hates triatheletes and only comes down here to remind us that roadies are very good at one thing but don't handle diversity well. And we all pay, but soon he will be back at the O-cup races and he will know more pain than Colm and I got today though we were alternately whipped/spanked/owned/ruled/dominated/dropped/popped/andGenerallyOnTheRivet until we wobbled home 3.5 hrs later. Recovery ride, HA HA.

Well it sounded like a good idea...

Well I thought what a perfect time to do a brick so I can teach my legs that it can only get worse not better. Well friends the first 2 km leading to the first hill was not pretty, but somehow things got better thanks to the friendly Floridians. There are no sidewalks in the area I was running, and 2 cars took serious runs at me to get me off the road. Fat chance. I won 2 stare downs (like with insurance costing what it does they're going take me out) and that got the legs going. Plus Cinnamon Girl up the big hill. Wearing my Thumps and got my Dog look on Ann (like this people):

Pity the Man

The situation room at VV is in the Hedley Lemarr Suite (HLS), just south of the North end alligator pit. Today a new guest arrived, first-time camper Bill, who I fear does not know what he is in for in terms of "roommate". Like when the smoke alarm went off this morning in the dark before swimming. Hey, I can't be responsible for every waffle cooking in FLA. However, I can't say enough good things about a man who will watch Blazing Saddles blissfully unaware that the pain train leaves tomorrow and I unfortunately have a first class ticket.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Camp Sheri: Day

Camp Sheri: Day -2

Your boy is sitting in Value Village (well Vacation Village, but let me tell you any differences real or imagined between this place and Sunnyvale Trailer Park is small, DUCK BOTTLE KIDS!) in Clermont, FLA with t minus 2 days to go to the start of Camp Sheri, or as I affectionately call it Death Camp for Cuties (ha, ha Chey). Friday starts 10 days of hills, hills, hills with a few swims in the alligator-filled lake. So far I am the only camper here, but tomorrow others will arriving.

Flew down here yesterday, that's a story on its own, hold on to that for another. Short version is if you are a Canada-USA smuggler consider Westjet from London to Orlando for your business needs. Anyway yesterday here was a diaster of rain, wind, hail and scattered reports of fire and brimstone, which I missed. Not so today, where one could spend some serious time trying to find a cloud in the blue sky. Bit windy and by the crappy weather standards of London of late unbelievably warm. What I did not wear on my ride today: 2 pairs of overbooties, winter tights, a long sleeve tech shirt, a jacket, liner gloves, gloves and hat. Applied sunscreen!

Colm and I did a hill tour of the Sugarloaf/Buckhill area, 'bout 2.50 when he headed back and I got my 3.5 in (but he ran this morning) thought we climbed Sugarloaf the girlie way which is fitting since my legs are fur-free for the first time since Fall. So add that above didn't even wear leg hair today. Nor skull hair. See! We are working on Colm to go for it tomorrow, Dave has offered to shear him. Voice any strong comments you have on it below. I say go for it. BTW if you are old school Joisey hockey you can see to the left off the centre where Gary the Animal Zellwegger nailed me with a slapshot back in '70 or so. I remember this clearly because my save percentage from birth until 18yr was about 10% and that counted as a save. Any hoot we did all the normal hills but there was 1 big change that I have not adapted to yet.

We have changed churches! This is serious. Last year we were baptists and would fill our bottles with "holy" water from the fountain at the Baptist church. But Colm has just like that changed churches to one that has 2 fountains that are newer, have higher pressure and cold water. Not sure what denomination this new place is but it smacks of being a Unitarian church.

Phone rings, its Colm, oh boy Coach (hence Master) Sheri has decreed a 7am swim tomorrow at the NTC in their OUTDOOR pool. Best to get there at 6 so the sun comes up and Venus hangs bright so you see it as you feet flip over your head in the turns, but it will do until the alligators chase us in Lake Louisa.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

THEY'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!

THEY'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!

Mark it down, April 9th. No longer do I ride in mournful silence. Rolled out of town about 75 min and found that the real boys of summer are already amped for another season in London, out in the treed section of New Ontario Road. It sounded like this today.

Moin moin!

The Kolomogorov Spectrum

Yeah, maybe yesterday I should have taken a step back there and thought maybe everyone doesn't think a lot about eddies in fluids. An eddy is the rotating swirls you see in a moving river. What happens is these large scale whirls rapidly break down into smaller and smaller whirls. In this manner a fluid can transfer energy from large scales to individual molecules. So watching the vortices in the river yesterday you can watch them getting smaller and well, you get it now, right? The math-y way to describe this is called the Kolomogorov spectrum and is like the Matryoshka (nesting) dolls on the right here: each doll is similar but exists at a smaller and smaller scale.

The famous fluid dynamicist Lewis Fry Richardson summarized all this in a rhyme:

Big whorls have little whorls that feed on their velocity,
and little whorls have lesser whorls and so on to viscosity.

Viscosity is the term for friction in a fluid, in a higher viscosity fluid (like honey) molecules have stronger forces between one another and flow past each other slower than a lower viscosity fluid (like water).

Now you know the rest of the story...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I am the Music

I am the Music

So it had to be a disaster today from the get-go. Slept through my alarm for 15 min for the first time since ???? Snowed last night, snow on ground/road/paths. Why? It is April give it a rest. 2 hr run. Solo, the other crazy who would normally run with me, TTT partner in crime, had the good sense to move her centroid a couple 1000 km to the south of me. "Misery loves company" This was going to suck.

The musics worked. My ipod(s) have an unnerving ability to within their parameter space sense my moods. They just do. So right away the gloom started to fade as Courage boomed (Quickly, follow the unknown with something more familiar). And it keeps getting better. Been sick for days know, just sick enough to not stop but feel like crap. Getting some legs back. Down the paths, quiet, white, snow coming through, -8 with the wind chill. Get to just before Curnoe tunnel and realize there is a long path on the other side of the tracks and not 2 steps that way mypod chooses Blue Sky and the boys are just rippin' da-da-dang da dang dang dong da dung and the path goes right along the river shoreline made from receeding waters where you can look straight 6 ft into the fast moving river and I just get fixcated on the guitars and eddies breaking up doing their thing cascading the rivers energy from a mighty flow 50 m wide to each little water molecule on the surface, what service huh getting all that energy delivered from 50 m to 5 nm right in front of you and then turning home and leaving this new path (yes: there is further to go on this path which I will go down again, even if a train goes by up the big bank right next to it) and hitting the pavement into Scarlet Begonias and the sky was yellow and the sun was blue and onto a live Wheel I've never spent less time running 2 hrs.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Ode to the First Spring Brick

Oh First Spring Brick
Glorious fixed Surly ride on dead legs
Out east against 9 mile's gale
Spring cancelled, no birds mating
Only good weather for skating
Transition run for 1 hour
All this before I could take a shower

Poor soul, no what fool am I to try
To swim, bike, run and core
17 hours this week with so little training before
Knowing my body's bruised and mind is beat
I must do what's on the stupid sheet

Dreams of tailwind, downhills, coasting
My drivetrain gave me quite a toasting
Knowing I must try to spin faster
Or face the wrath of the Master

Cursing those in FLA between my wheezing
On my run my feet still freezing
Knowing come July it still won't be easy
Trying to keep the faith
Will I ever get in shape?